Random the Random Random

Disclaimer: This post is NOT meant to convey facts. The purpose of this post is to invoke thought within the reader about the following subject matter.

The concept of “having/displaying confidence” is one of the biggest misunderstandings of this time in my opinion. Not just in business but in every social situation that the average human being will come across. For this Pre-Emptive Strike, I’m looking to an argument that’s not discussed very much, or if it is discussed, it is not discussed enough. But before I launch into a small rant about confidence, Lets consider the following factors. In order to fully understand the basis of this article, you must keep these in mind:

1. As of this post, times are changing and rather rapidly at that. The same theories that are created for today may not hold true tomorrow.
2. There are many opinions on the “confidence vs. arrogance” argument that take different stances on the issue. There is no black and white in this argument, everything is grey. Every person who has encounter the argument of confidence vs. arrogance has come out of it with their own opinion, their own resolve.
3. The most basic proponent of how theories are handled. Theories are not facts, they are only scientific attempts to explain phenomena through research, testing, and so on.
4. And lastly, theories can not be proven, only supported or dis-proven. 

The definition of confidence as defined by Websters Dictionary is “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.” Or to put it more simply, to believe that you have worth; that your abilities and talents are just as valuable as everyone else’s. It’s one thing to be confident in yourself but what about when it comes to displaying confidence. That’s when you get into the possibility of being perceived as arrogant. The textbook definition of the word “arrogance,” again provided by the Websters dictionary states that arrogance is “an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner…”

Now when looking at these definitions separately, one can easily tell the difference between the two. But this is where the mistake is commonly made. What we often don’t consider is that confidence goes a lot deeper that its definition implies. It is expressed in a variety of ways.

Confidence is not a factual thing because everyone sees it differently. It’s more of a concept due to the variety of ways it can be expressed. For example, Lets take an acquaintance of mine. To protect his identity, we’ll call him “Smalls.” Now Smalls, follows the textbook definition of what it is to be arrogant very well, hes loud, hes pushy, he doesn’t take no for an answer (especially when hitting on women), and often brags about how big his package is. To everyone around him, He’s an arrogant braggart with very low taste.But, what if he’s not being arrogant at all? What if in his own mind, THAT is what confidence is? See what I’m getting at?

Everyone sees confidence differently and because of that, people who do display confidence often get mistaken as arrogant, whereas people who choose not to display confidence, even though they maintain to themselves that they are a confident person, often get classified as having low self-esteem. The fact that most arrogant people deny that they are arrogant, lends a lot of evidence to support this little notion.

So wheres the line? How do we as a people know what confidence is? I came up with a little theory to put this whole thing into perspective just a little bit:

“Confidence is nothing but small burst of arrogance in the right place at the right time.”  -Kaylin

Now I am not saying that this is fact at all. This certainly can be dis-proven at any point. But when you think of it this way it nearly eliminates the entire argument. We all know what arrogance is because at some point in our lives we’ve all dealt with it. Most arrogance comes at us in these big overbearing clusters that causes annoyance within everyone around the arrogant person. When you have small burst of arrogance, chances are you have a greater probability of not being identified as arrogant but confident.

This little theory eliminates the “how to be confident.” aspect of the debate and asks an easier to answer question, of “when to be confident.” Or when to show confidence.

Obvious places would be:

1. job interviews
2. sales
3. dating

So to summarize this little post, when you think of confidence as “small burst of arrogance in the right place at the right time,” you may find it easier to know when and how to display confidence.

Well that’s it for this Pre-Emptive Strike post. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope that this sheds a new an unforeseen light on the issue of confidence.

-Kaylin Norman

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